So, what can you fit into 280 characters?
Well, most importantly, this many words of ‘All Star’ by Smashmouth: “Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed she was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an “L” on her forehead well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming fed to the rules and I hit the ground running.”
Or, alternatively, a shed load of ‘O’s in the word ‘poop’.
You may find these examples trivial (or just plain random), but I have seen both of them on Twitter today, showing that the increase for some people from a 140 to 280 character allowance is being used super wisely. Clearly, they are making the most of the extra space to say some super important things.
But who are these lucky people? Why are some of us users ‘chosen ones’ blessed with double the amount of space, while the rest of us peasants are still left to edit our tweets, take out words, revert back to using ‘u’ instead of ‘you’ like we’re from the stone age on a Nokia 3310 (and the worst edit of all: cutting apostrophes.) Being grammatically incorrect for the sake of fitting inside the character limit is an ongoing issue, and genuinely a reason for not even publishing a tweet. Imagine all the pieces of comedic gold you haven’t published because you’ve had to take out an apostrophe, even though it could’ve been the one that went viral. Going viral isn’t even worth it if there’s an apostrophe missing. It just isn’t.
The original extended character limit was an experiment to see if people could better express themselves, but my question is this: do people really need to express themselves more? Can’t we all just agree to stop expressing ourselves and then maybe we’ll have world peace? No one needs to read your sub tweets about the girl your dating not texting you back; or Donald Trump’s direct tweets about Kim Jong Un. Come on guys, let’s bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy. We don’t need extra Twitter characters to do that.
As Stephen Colbert so rightly puts it:
If there’s one thing we could ask for from 2017, it wouldn’t be “more Twitter.”
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) November 8, 2017
But if Twitter thinks this is a good idea, then so be it. If this is what they want to do, then I say for them to go ahead, but that’s probably because I’m not a chosen one and I’m really bitter.
Fuck u 280 character limit.
Words by Eliza Frost