With great irrelevance comes great responsibility. And this time it’s in the form of the biggest fight the world has seen since the great Muhammad Ali passed away.
Re-learn the infamous ‘Crank That’ dance, and put on your most generic baseball jersey and Puma joggers, because it’s getting wild in the States. The two-hit wonder rapper – he also wrote ‘Kiss Me ‘Thru the Phone’ – is appearing back in our lives (for the first time since we were wearing luminous tutu’s and odd coloured fluorescent gloves) in the form of a boxing match. And the opponent? Chris bloody Brown. But with a new album conveniently on the way in Feburary, why the hell not.
It all started when Soulja Boy commented on Karrueche Tran’s (Breezy’s ex) Instagram photo. The ‘heart eye’ emoji really fucked the rapper off, enough for Chris to call the off-the-charts (literally) rapper and suggest that they fight.
And whether this was a literal request or not, here we are. Then Soulja Boy replied on an Instagram video, mentioning Brown’s previous boxing career (“You think you hard cause you hit Rihanna n****, cause you beat Rihanna up n****?”). This all happened on January 3. It’s now over two weeks later, Soulja has been preparing daily, and Brown has seemingly just been taking to social media instead.
Well, with the latter having Mike Tyson as an instructor, he won’t have to put in too much work. But Soulja Boy, if there are still any out there, do not despair as the rapper is also being trained by Floyd Mayweather Jr.
But the wrestlers aren’t the only ones backing the fight. Snoop has had his say on the situation, albeit with a simple ‘Uh Oh’ at the news of Tyson’s up and coming rap career, overseen by Breezy. Guess that’s one way for him to return the favour.
But are we surprised? Not really. Once-upon-a-time stars do this all the time; they start beef to then make themselves relevant again. And however much Soulja Boy protests ‘It’s not about the money at all’, he’s not fooling anyone.
Admittedly, most don’t take it this far, but we can definitely expect a new release from both parties, and potentially a friendship according to the optimistic SB. In his, probably not, final comment to his opponent the wish of “After the fight we can shake hands and be friends.’’ But, after the release of a Chris Brown diss track, titled Hit ‘Em with the Draco also taking a hit at 50 cent, it’s not too clear if SB still wants to finish on good terms. Or whether, upon hearing this, Breezy will just break his hand off before he gets the chance.
So now it’s time to gear up, find your illegal streaming site or book a flight over to Vegas for March in time for the fight you’re going to be telling your grandchildren about. And whatever the outcome, hopefully the fight will knock the two artists back to where they belong. So that’s 2014 for Breezy, and god knows how far back for SB.
Get Volume #16 now.
Join our club.
Words by Mollie Mansfield