How to Festival Properly

Alex Slater /
Aug 3, 2017 / Music

For most music fans, summer belongs to that one weekend you’ve been hyping about for the past 6 months; that one weekend, where you and your best chums intend on camping in the mud and listening to some absolute bangers.

Sounds wicked, is wicked. It definitely can go wrong though, so here’s some pointers to help you lot out this summer.


I don’t care if BBC Weather’s been predicting 29 degree sunshine for the past 2 months, pack your fucking wellies! Just one day of rain at a festival can seriously mess up the ground, just due to the sheer amount of people trampling on it, so if you’re heading to a festival, even abroad, take some wellies.

Additionally, festivals do not do club prices. They have you where they want you, trapped in their random field, miles from civilisation, meaning they can charge extortionate amounts of money for water, chewing gum, and most importantly, bevs. So make sure you take more than your weeks pocket money with you, keep it somewhere safe, but pack enough dollar to get you by.

I’m not your mum, if I was, I wouldn’t want to know how that happened. I’m not here to give you ‘the talk’, but boys and girls, please take some condoms. You and ‘now non-existent love child’ will thank me for it later.

Try new things

I’m not referencing some dodgy exchange with Ketty Kev at the techno stage here. I promise.

I’m talking about trying new festivals and new music. Everyone’s heard of the Leeds/Readings, and while they are always going to be good, there are literally hundreds of other festivals that will be just as good, for less stress on your wallet. I’m not bashing the big festivals here, but trying new and growing festivals is what the music scene wants, so if you clock a couple of your favourite artists heading to a random field you’ve never heard of, stump up the cash and have a bash.

Additionally, if you’re at a festival but no one you’ve heard of is on at the moment, what do you do? Some people head back to their tent and get as lit as possible for the next big set, which is fair enough, but if you’re already appropriately bevved, hit up a random stage and see what happens.

From personal experience, I headed to Longitude this year in Dublin, and no-one we fancied was playing early in the afternoon. So we grabbed an overpriced beer and sat around near main stage, my friend quickly fell in love with Kaleo who happened to be playing, and he’s now off to see them at the end of this year.  Love at first listen.

Also, if you’re into metal but your mate is a huge fan of that acoustic dude on the tiniest stage at the festival, do him a solid and go along with him, he’ll probably pay you the favour back.

Keep your guard up

I’m still not your mum, but I do have to tell you, at every festival stuff gets lost and stolen, I know its super-duper hard to think about your belongings when you’re intoxicated, but try and be clever if you can.

Tents are made of canvas, even my dog could rip through one, and she’s a border terrier with one eye. However, closing and locking it will massively reduce the risk of stuff being stolen from it. Why would a thief go through the effort of breaking into your tent when he could just walk into the tents of the dipsticks that left theirs open?

Have a mad one

Festivals are a time to let go of yourself at the end of the day. For a weekend, all worries seem minimal, and you get to boogie to your idols music, it’s a dream. You’re one of thousands of people all crammed onto a random field in the British countryside, what have you got to lose.

Have a mad one, stay alive, don’t do ote too stupid, but none-the-less, have a mad one.

Words by Alex Slater

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